BOBBY DEERFIELD IS A WOMAN

MUSIC

Jul 31

Written By Simone Taylor

Niia on her new album

Niia has been enfolded by music her entire life, so it’s no surprise that her latest album ‘Bobby Deerfield’ is a turn into a world that she has clearly amalgamated her life’s hearing into. Cutting through the obvious car themes is knowledge that different styles of music all invoke emotion is ever present throughout. After very strangely being invited to a private screening of ‘Bobby Deerfield’ by Al Pacino himself Niia accidentally fell into a maze of inspiration. Accidentally uncovering the complex meta-truths around parents and sex, inadvertently inverting masculine car tropes, and surprising herself by working with a completely different genre of producer than she was used to, Niia’s latest album looks on the surface like an aesthetically themed fan girl tribute. Dig in to the movement of the music though, and all sorts of things will come up.

Bobby Deerfield is not just a visually referential album, but you said it almost accidentally got down to some deep personal levels. How did it feel releasing this one?

This one felt like when Moses went out in the River, I felt like it was a big release in a bittersweet way. I think because it did end up being about my Dad and my identity a little bit more than I was expecting it to be. It felt kind of scary that it was a little bit more personal than I wanted it to be. I weirdly always get a little sad when I release an album.

‘A Shadow Of My Past’ is an actual recording of an apology from your father. I wanted to ask you about the awkwardness of hearing something like that from someone who was supposed to raise you.

I think it went from anger to awkwardness, and what I'm practicing now is acceptance and forgiveness. I've realized like, what, am I going to just be mad at my Dad forever? What is that going to do for me? My sister is having babies and I'm like, is she going to just hate their grandfather? So once I started to practice that and allow myself to feel forgiveness and acceptance, it got easier. Then I just was, crying all the time when I would hear that and also get a little validation. I don't know if he sees himself this way still, so he might have just apologized and moved on, but getting an apology out of him was a big deal. This album was at the core, a little bit about that. Or my Dad being my mirror. So when the apology came, I was like, oh, fuck, this is like the whole crux of what I needed.

And also that line “You've always been a reflection of me”

I have been! That's what's really crazy. My last albums are all about affairs and love and bullshit. And learning how to change those patterns has been really hard for me. Thinking it's so cool to like, cheat and be this machine, this mysterious vixen, but then I'm like, this is kind of tacky. And then really realising it's about how I value myself and my morals. And THEN realising that has to do with my Dad. So it's been a challenge. I love my Dad, and we've gotten closer through this process, but I don't want to continue to be like him.

Was it weird to put a track about you being really sensual and sexual, like where you have lyrics about sitting on someone's face, in an album that has so much to do with him? Or do you think that it’s because he was like this and you have to think about him through a sexual frame?

Of course, I also, you know, have been my father's daughter. My Dad is, is a very sexual person. He's had affairs, and I've done the same. So I think we used that as our weakness and our strength. And so I can identify with him through things he's done. It's funny, because everyone's like, I can't believe you're saying some of the stuff on the same album. He doesn't have a problem with that stuff. I was like, you don't care that your daughter's sitting on people's faces? And he's like, no. I also think it's important for daughters to talk about sex with their fathers. It's always the mother and the daughter that talks about like tampons and things. And I remember my Dad, he came in when I was 13 and just said, “men only want one thing”. And that was it. That was the only message from a man and I don't think that that's good. The anxiety levels now, it's really hard to be a young girl and like sex. I hope for young girls to feel that they can be in control of stuff. But it’s scary. It's very hard. And if you have a shitty relationship with your Dad, good luck. And who doesn't?

“I don't need to sing on every goddamn song. You know what I mean? It just felt like it was needed. I really love instrumental music. You know, I grew up with classical and jazz. Sometimes it's like, shut up. You don't need words, to get an emotion across.”

I found Bobby Deerfield to be a very male centered movie. Al Pacino is all ego, and then a woman teaches him what life is really about. Did you think it was weird that you chose a movie like that to inspire you?

Yeah totally. And again, I hate to say this, but I had no idea why I became obsessed with that movie. You know, I saw it with Al Pacino at a private screening. My mum's from Italy so we are like Al Pacino hardcore fans. And I had never seen this movie before. Initially, it was, what the fuck is this? Why is Pacino saying this is his favorite movie he's ever done? And then I liked the movie because it wasn't in your face Al Pacino. I just could not get it out of my head. The styling and the Formula One and the symbolism of driving as fast as you can, thinking you're skirting death, but really, they're just going around in circles. I really became obsessed with it. I even started learning how to drive stick and got obsessed with Formula One. I realised how male dominant it is and how none of my girlfriends know what Formula One is. Then I was like Al Pacino’s Bobby Deerfield is me. I feel like I am that character, like trying to figure out why I can't get my relationships working or I'm just this little brat. And then I was like, but Bobby Deerfield is also my Dad. I'm also a very visual person and I really love the aesthetic of the movie, probably more than the movie itself. It's based on a book called ‘Heaven Has No Favorites’ and I just really love that title because it's like, alright, if heaven doesn't judge us, I can be a fucking asshole, right? Or I can like grow up and really figure out what the fuck is my problem, and who are the people that are still bothering me to drive around and move on with my life instead of just getting on this stupid race track. My manager thought I was losing my mind. I was like, I think it's called Bobby and it's based on this shitty movie. She was like, “what are you talking about?”

‘Mouthful Of Salt’ was an entire album of instrumental tracks that I could imagine as film music. Do you put ambient tracks into every album now because that's where your head goes?

I think yes. And also, that was kind of like a fuck you because everyone always writes about my voice. I'm a musician, I can make music that I'm not singing on either. It was also an exciting thing to do. Then for ‘Bobby Deerfield’. I just felt like, I don't need to sing on every goddamn song. You know what I mean? It just felt like it was needed. I really love instrumental music. You know, I grew up with classical and jazz. Sometimes it's like, shut up. You don't need words, to get an emotion across.

There is a bit of conflict there though because I think this album is also very much about your lyrics. I think it's one of your most storytelling albums.

But you know it's interesting when you’re like, oh, I want to write about the stars. And then you sit down, you're like, Fuck, what do I do? And I think it's why I love music still, because if it was easy, it wouldn't be fun. Even this album was like, I don't even know if I like the sound of my voice with an electric guitar.

But this albums a little bit more folk soul driven, just a little bit more experimental. I was just sick of a mid tempo beat. I was like putting together a set for one of my shows in Asia and I was like, all my songs are the same bpm. Also after my Ambient record, I was like, I can do whatever I want. It was definitely a journey and Jonathan Wilson who I worked with, he was like, what the fuck are you doing here? I'm not the biggest Americana fan, and he is really good at that. The difference is the album's he works on whether or not they're Americana, you cannot deny how well produced how well written and how well executed they are. So wherever we meet in the middle was going to be interesting really exciting.

You're in LA and at the moment the Hollywood SAGA strikes are going on because of the rise of AI in creative spheres. Why do you think why do you think AI I would not have been able to create this album?

I guess because it doesn't have my trauma. It doesn't know my Dad, it can’t remember what my Dad smells like or what car he used to drive me to school in every day. You could tell it that information, but I don't know if it will invoke the same nostalgia and feelings that have been bottled up for the 35 years I've lived you know. There's a reason why people still listen to vinyl. There's a reason why people still collect cars, the old cars. You know, I went to an all girl Catholic school that was so conservative, and my mom put me there, because she wanted me to be she thought was gonna be like some gypsy whore, and the arts. So she put me in a very academic struck me, right. And so I think also like, that is where my Dad, I hate to say this was kind of a role model, because he was like, a rebel, he was a psychopath and did whatever he wanted. And I think that's bled into my music of staying a little refined, staying a little clean. And now I'm starting to kind of grow and be like, I could do what I want. I can create what I want. And I can cut my bad habits if I want to.

Words by Alex Officer / See more from Niia here.