The Sex Ed You Never Had

BEAUTY

Nov 8

Things we love at Astrophe: Education, a good book, and people who question things. In her new book The Sex Ed You Never Had, psycho-sexologist Chantelle Otten reframes and re-educates a multitude of sexual misconceptions in a frank, clear and easy to navigate way. From anatomy to sex toys, body shame to consent, all topics are approached with positivity, accurate language, and a spark of empowering joy. We asked Chantelle about miseducation around diversity in sexual health, the damage it does, and how we can move forward.

Historically, Western medical education and research seems to be based on predominately cisgendered, heterosexual, mostly male bodies. Does this point to a lack of awareness of different bodies in the medical industry, and how concerning is it that people’s health can be based on these parameters of a standardised body?

I think that there is more of an awareness now within the healthcare system, but in regards to how to work with and talk about results… sometimes saying ‘evidence shows’ doesn't work, because the evidence is not representative of the diversity of our world. This is concerning when it comes to communication around these topics and sometimes treatment. I think that an individualised approach is best and healthcare practitioners should receive mandatory ongoing training on diversity and inclusion.

The opening 3 chapters of your book are “Body Parts”, “Assigned Sex”, and “Gender”. Do you think if people had a firm grasp of the basics of the spectrums of gender, sex and sexuality there could be a substantial difference in general discrimination for people who don’t fit the “norm”?

Yes, absolutely. I was not even taught enough about this in my studies. Imagine if we had known this growing up, I would have hoped that it would have saved lives, and stopped bullying. The lack of education led to bullying, led to discrimination. I think this would have been reduced if we had been educated better, and therefore been better.

I attended a panel called “Invisible” as part of UNSW’s SEXtember recently; it was a very thoughtful conversation between a diverse range of people with different genders, races, and jobs across health and education spectrums. Throughout, there was a strong line from the panel saying there was little to no education, research, or professional help that has been led by people with their own specific circumstances (e.g. a trans person going to a GP who is only trained in male or female bodies, or a First Nations person being treated by people who do not understand their lifestyles and circumstances, and cannot properly communicate with them). Then there’s the addition of a societal element of learnt bullying and stigma around difference, which often hinders proper care. In terms of sexual health and education, have you seen any detrimental effects of this on people who do not “fit” into standardised box?

Yes, always. You have to look at the fact that the GP or specialist is a human too, and may have their own personal biases they bring to the session. And for many, they would have never received any inclusion training, nor training around sexuality. This is a huge problem. I know a lot of specialists feel out of their depth and don't know where to turn. I would love to do more work on education for specialists around sexuality and inclusion, so they can also feel more confident, as I know many don't.

Is it important to have people with specific experience around the people they are researching, educating, or treating?

Yes, and if that experience is not there, there needs to be curiosity to learn, and time prioritised to skill and language development. We all need to start somewhere.

Do you think sexual education in medicine is lacking a necessary psychological element?

Sex education in medicine is lacking in and of itself, and yes, psychologically. The biggest sexual organ is the brain, and this requires a lot of conversation, history taking and detective work to put together the pieces of what that person needs. I know medical practitioners would love help in this area, and I do feel that this would be appreciated in medical training.

What do you see as some of the worst damage miseducation has led to?

To be honest, I have so many people coming in to see me after many years (even up to 15 years) of inaccurate diagnosis for simple conditions such as vaginismus. There are so many patients that I have seen who have been diagnosed again and again with thrush and candida, but it’s their pelvic floor that needs attention! And so many of them have also been told to just ‘relax, have a glass of wine and you'll be fine’... Um no. This is not ok.

And I mean, many people that have been stereotyped or put into a box because of their sexual fantasies or wants. Told that they are abnormal. And I have to think… what is normal when it comes to sex? It’s diverse!

How much of your work is based around reversing internalised shame because of miseducation?

All of my work involves working with shame in one way or another. And I think shame attached to sexuality is very prominent in my practice, alongside shame around the body and functioning, and sexual experience. So basically, we relearn about sexuality from a sex positive way.

How do you approach teaching the medical language side alongside real life experience?

I teach medical language in a fun way so my patients can understand what is happening to them, but also remember it, so they don't feel overwhelmed. For example, I say ‘vaginismus’, it sounds like Christmas for the vagina, but it’s the opposite, it’s like Halloween.

What are some of the best, or some of your favourite, results that re-education has on people?

OOOO I just love when people leave with a smile on their face, and a newfound confidence in discussing sexuality. Then, I feel especially excited when I receive a nice message on the progress they have made. I love making people feel confident.

Chantelle Otten's book The Sex Ed You Never Had is out now through Allen & Unwin, and is available at all good book retailers. Words by Alex Officer